Our Default Setting

            Have you ever wondered why it is so easy for us to get angry? Why is it so hard for us to be giving? It all comes down to self-centeredness. Self-centeredness is "our default setting, hardwired into our boards at birth." (David Foster Wallace, 2005)

            As normal people, it is in our nature to think that we are the center of the universe. Admit it: There was never an experience when you never thought about yourself. For this reason, whenever things don't go according to our plan, we tend to be frustrated and angry. For example, let's say it's a typical day after school, and you take the bus going home. While you are sitting on your seat, thinking how excited you are to go home after a long tiring day at school, you suddenly notice the bus hasn't moved for 30 minutes and see that an accident has occurred - a car crashed onto a truck right in front of the bus you're riding. Immediately, you become angry at the two drivers, thinking how reckless can they be. You're angry because you were supposed to be home by now, resting and lying on your bed and reading your favorite book. You're angry because things didn't go your way. It's all about "me, myself, and I." Period. Finally, the obstacle has been cleared and you arrive home very pissed and grumpy. Now, let's put this in a different perspective. What if the person who was driving the car that crashed was so much deep in thought about the problems going on in his home? What if the truck driver was worried about how will he pay his bills or his children's tuition? The point is that in times like this is where the choosing happens. It's either we choose to turn our default setting off or be controlled by it. If we don't change how we think, we will forever be miserable whenever this kind of things happen because our "natural default setting is the certainty that situations like this are really about me, myself, and I."

            It is time for us to change our way of thinking. Choosing to be selfless is hard because being self-centered is so automatic and natural for us that it doesn't even have to be a choice. But if we start to care for others sincerely and sacrifice for them, we are slowly breaking our chains from our natural default setting. "This is freedom."